The crystal water was so clear you could see the bottom of the cool crystal sea. As I was staring at the crystal sea on a beautiful cruise going to India I could hear the waves whooshing and crashing. As the ship approached India I could smell the outstanding food that dragged me close. I wanted to eat. I just wish my parents were here to see all of this that I have explored. I never knew the crystal sea would be like this. While I was swimming with the dolphins suddenly vicious sharks started to surround me. I tried to call help but no one could hear me. How would I survive?
Hannah i like your work because you used ajecyivs and detali and you did 100 words
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely piece Hannah. Really sad that you p[opped it on the wrong linky & the right one is closed now but never mind - I was able to read it. I hope you join in next week!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah.
ReplyDeleteI love this you used a lot of interesting language and it really drew me in.
Well Done!
From Megan
Thanks for the thoughtful comment Megan! You're right Hannah has used interesting language. I really like the use on onomatopoeia (Words that sound like they are spelt ie crashing and whooshing). I also like how you end with a question. I want to read more! If you had more words describing your feelings would further add to the tension.
ReplyDeletehi this is denieka i have read/wacthed your work there are fantastic.hope you can wite me back
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you Denieka and it's good to know you still follow the blog. Each week there is a new 100 word challenge on http://www.theheadsoffice.co.uk/
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could get your new class involved?
Mr B