Suspense Paragraph

In Literacy we have been learning about how authors create tension and build suspense in their writing. Here is Baveeta's attempt at writing a suspense paragraph.

The waves crashed against the dark rocks. I felt around frantically trying to grab something. Pebbles and seaweed tripped and grabbed me. The wind whistled a low mystical tune into my ears. A cold sensation tickled my spine. I thought suddenly of sharks swimming around me, perhaps hearing me or scenting me . I could have drowned. I could feel it. I felt as if the black water was pulling me down. Down into the murky depths below.

“Help! Help!” I yelled. Then I saw something or someone. Perhaps mom and dad. I swam hard. They were there, so close yet so far. It felt like days had past in the minutes it took to swim. I’d made it at last. But it wasn’t mom and dad. Just two pieces of driftwood floating idly.