Friday 10 September 2010

More Pandora's Box

Here is Mariam's diary extract and below it is Jahniah's work!



24 comments:

  1. I really like the diary because it looks real.from hannah

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  2. Mariam - A super diary extract Mariam. You have presented your work really well. I am pleased that you are trying to use a range of sentence types, including complex sentences. You have taken on the role of a character well and described your anger well.

    Jahniah - Jahniah I can see you have worked hard on this piece of work and I know that you a rightly very proud of it. I am really pleased that you have incorporated ideas from the original text into your own work. You have thought carefully about how Zeus might feel and what he might say. Well done.

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  3. mariam your work is outstanding its amazing.you've put alot of effet in your work.Its like i'm writing right now.I love it!

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  4. Jahniah your work is amazing your diary looks almost like a really diary.Jahniah I surdested you worked hard on that.

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  5. mariam,jahnia i can see that you have put lost of effet into.and i like the daecoration in your work.well done

    from mallica

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  6. outstanding! jahniah what a piece of work you,ve done.FAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Well done chap. from xantaine

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  7. well done jahniah fab WHAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. Jahniah your work is outstanding. You have put a lot off effort in your work over the last couple of weeks. Your Pandora's box work is brilliant.

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  9. Mariama and Gurdeep i have seen your work WHAT FAB

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  10. Jahniah your work is brilliant i liked paragraph 3 and 4 it was out standing.

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  11. Gurdeep and Ellen your work is fab if i was mrs packer i would send it to birimingham city council

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  12. Calum your work is fantastic good work calum

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  13. Damiloloa you work is fantastic so is your speach for school counclil.

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  14. shanez when you went into my class and read your pandoras box story it was so fantastic it was like one of the teachrs writing i can not belive my eyes well done

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  15. calum your work is amazing well done and kepp up the good work tho

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  16. Jahniah i love your work it's amazing i think it looks like a real diary d^_^b.

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  17. mariam i love your letter paragraph 4 and 3 it's i love the way you used the backround

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  18. Shanaz i have your work it is FAB

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  19. Mariama ive seen your work it is OUTSTANDING i liked everything about it

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  20. Mariam I really liked your work beacuse I like your really old background and old stlye writing

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  21. jahniah
    i love your work it is outstanding


    mariam
    i think you have put an effet in your work the look of the old page makes it fantastic

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  22. WELL DONE JANNIAH I LIKE YOUR WONDERFUL PIECE OF THE DIARY EXTRACT I CAN SEE YOU HAVE PUT ALOT OF EFFORT ON THAT DIARY EXTRACT.I CAN SEE THE COMPOUND SENTENCE'S AND THE RIGHT PIECE OF PUNCTUATION YOU HAVE SUPERB ADJECTIVES AND MOUNBUT YOU SHOULD IMPROVE ON WRITTING A LONGER PIECE OTHER THAN THAT JANNIAH YOUR WORK IS OUTSTANING.GGGGOOOOOOODDDD

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  23. WELL DONE JANNIAH I LIKE YOUR PICE OF THE DIARY

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  24. Mariama20000000000000000000030 September 2010 at 19:53

    a superb diary extract mariam,you have used a wide range of sentences including complex sentences.i love how you have presented your work brilliantly.you have described your anger exellently.keep up the outstanding work!!

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