Have a go at writing a short piece about being scared. Once people have had a go at writing a short piece think about giving feedback to help them improve.
I was by my self in the scary creeping forest .I was just about to scream and them BANG! . I was terrified I didn't know were to go . I knew that I was lost. I didn't have anywhere to go and nobody to ask were to go. The only thing to eat were raspberry's and a little fountain to drink from. Was disappointed I heard a wolf .When I thought nothing worse could happen It started to rain. I quickly sprinted under a tree to hide me a bit from the rain. Then I heard a another wolf . I could heir little footsteps getting closer and closer and closer I screamed but I shouldn't have. Too late the wolf ran up to me and I ran the opposite way. I hid behind the bushes. And hoped. I looked at the forest and thought how lovely and scary it is. The water dripping from a leaf tip top tip top. I went to sleep and hoped my mom will come for me.
I was walking with the class, and I thought I new a short cut to the coach.Unfortunatly I did'nt. Every one forgot about me I was left walking in the darkend woods . I felt like I was going around and around in a maze full of wolves, komodo drangons and bears. My heart started to pound faster and faster as I took a step forward. I started to breath quicly . I was cold and hungry. This is a woeful day I said to my self. As the wise old olws hooted I jumped with fear. As the wolves howled a strike of fear shook my body I could'nt sleep because I knew komodo dragons, wolves or bears would will be scaven for food. Until I came upon a cave there were no wild animals in it, so I qiuetly went inside . Just as I thought it was safe a wild man started jumping around like a mad wolf. He was wearng bears skin to keep him warm, komodo dangons scales to protect him self and wolf claws to eat animals like deer, wolf and bear to eat. He looked like he was 44 years old and he might been in the forest for 25 years. I ran out of the cave as fast as I could but the man was hunting me down he had the agilty of a wolverine. Unfortunatly he pinned me down and opend his jaws and CHOMP! I woke and I thought it was a dream or was it.
Wiktoria - Well done for having a go at the writing task. You have used a range of techniques to build tension well. You have used short sentences and repeated phrases to good effect. Sticking to one tense would improve your writing.
Damilola - A super effort. You have used description well and this really adds to the tension. You have described your feelings and the setting well. Get into the habit of re-reading your work to eliminate any simple errors.
Wiktoria i like being scared work
ReplyDeleteI was by my self in the scary creeping forest .I
ReplyDeletewas just about to scream and them BANG! .
I was terrified I didn't know were to go .
I knew that I was lost. I didn't have anywhere to go and nobody to ask were to go. The only thing to eat were raspberry's and a little fountain to drink from. Was disappointed I heard a wolf .When I thought nothing worse could happen It started to rain. I quickly sprinted under a tree to hide me a bit from the rain. Then I heard a another wolf . I could heir little footsteps getting closer and closer and closer I screamed but I shouldn't have. Too late the wolf ran up to me and I ran the opposite way. I hid behind the bushes. And hoped. I looked at the forest and thought how lovely and scary it is. The water dripping from a leaf tip top tip top. I went to sleep and hoped my mom will come for me.
I was walking with the class, and I thought I new a short cut to the coach.Unfortunatly I did'nt. Every one forgot about me I was left walking in the darkend woods . I felt like I was going around and around in a maze full of wolves, komodo drangons and bears. My heart started to pound faster and faster as I took a step forward. I started to breath quicly . I was cold and hungry. This is a woeful day I said to my self. As the wise old olws hooted I jumped with fear. As the wolves howled a strike of fear shook my body I could'nt sleep because I knew komodo dragons,
ReplyDeletewolves or bears would will be scaven for food. Until I came upon a cave there were no wild animals in it, so I qiuetly went inside . Just as I thought it was safe a wild man started jumping around like a mad wolf. He was wearng bears skin to keep him warm, komodo dangons scales to protect him self and wolf claws to eat animals like deer, wolf and bear to eat. He looked like he was 44 years old and he might been in the forest for 25 years. I ran out of the cave as fast as I could but the man was hunting me down he had the agilty of a wolverine. Unfortunatly he pinned me down and opend his jaws and CHOMP! I woke and I thought it was a dream or was it.
Damilola your work is fantastic,brillialt,outstanding
ReplyDeleteDamillola your work on being scared is amazing i like everything about it well done.
ReplyDeleteWiktoria - Well done for having a go at the writing task. You have used a range of techniques to build tension well. You have used short sentences and repeated phrases to good effect. Sticking to one tense would improve your writing.
ReplyDeleteDamilola - A super effort. You have used description well and this really adds to the tension. You have described your feelings and the setting well. Get into the habit of re-reading your work to eliminate any simple errors.
Damiloa-A super effort.Your work is so funny when I read it I was laughing out loud.Good job mate
ReplyDelete